One thing to understand about prison, in case you have not been incarcerated, is that you basically have a lot of time on your hands. Depending on your cellmate, perhaps you’ll spend considerable time on both hands and knees, but that’s another story. When I was on the outside, much of my exceptional effort was placed on saving the Earth and its beautiful creatures including but not limited to, but mostly, the Helmeted Woodpecker. Captive confinement curtailed my direct involvement in Earth-saving activities, so I basically had to direct my efforts toward other undertakings including but not limited to instituting a shiv recycling program, creating a prison-constrained protocol laminating system, not dropping the soap, and of course, Ultimate Frisbee.
Outside of these pursuits, I basically found time to finish my dissertation. I completed the defence for the aforementioned dissertation as a series of 30-minute non-conjugal visits with my “advisor” and other committee members including, and limited to, Tzar Pickfit, Gip Chirpor, and a “neighbor” from my cellblock that everyone called Esteban Estupendo… or was it Esteban Estupido?… basically, whatever, but he basically had a Ph.D. and was basically eligible for adjunct faculty status in my graduate programme.
If you’re lucky, I’ll undoubtedly give you more details about the aforementioned dissertation in a future post.