As you may or may not know, I basically did nothing wrong to
deserve my incarcerational time in prison. One of you, my loyal fans, basically
inquired as to what the official criminal accusations levied against me were
such that you would know them. And did I
hire a lawyer? Are you freaking kidding
me?!? Of course I hired a freaking
lawyer, I hired the best freaking lawyer in Paraguay!!! Did he get me acquitted of the crimes against
me, and therefore, against the Earth and all of humanity? NO!!! Did I start logging the pristine forest
around our new headquarters to pay your fees, Martin Almada, and I still went
to prison?!? YES!!!
What kind of freaking charge is bushmeat trafficking
anyway?!? Are you freaking kidding me?!? Bushes don’t even have meat!! If they did, they'd basically make me sick to my stomach.
Exhibit A:
I should have basically just represented
myself such that I could have not went to prison. I'm not bragging, but I'm basically pretty sure that I would be a pretty good lawyer. This is all ultimately basically Carl’s fault,
but you’re to blame too Martin. Thanks for nothing.
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