It's Official

Basically, I just wanted to update you, my loyal protégés, on the status of the aforementioned feather. After applying my patented feather microscopy protocol, I was able to confirm that the aforementioned structure was in fact a feather. Further, it is basically undeniably a Helmeted Woodpecker feather. As you may recall from your previous readings, I sent this feather to a museum (that will remain unnamed to basically protect the aforementioned feather from theft or acts of vandalism) in order to have lesser scientists confirm my discovery. I basically received electronic-mail confirmation that they received the HEWO feather and I will paste it below for all to see with my name basically removed to protect myself from various lesser biologists and assorted groupies that may seek me out for my profound insights and knowledge:

“We received the feather. Columba livia”

Obviously, I’m not sure what the second part of the message refers to but it basically appears to be some other language, probably saying something to the effect of “Yes, of course you are correct, it is a Helmeted Woodpecker feather.” Of course, this is great news and validates my feather transect protocol while repudiating the unmeritous approaches of past biologists. Now we will basically move into Phase II of the Feather Super-Protocol (which basically encompasses the sub-protocols related to feathers including but not limited to the aforementioned feather transect and feather microscopy protocols). Sub-phase I of Phase II of the Feather Super-Protocol basically involves implementation of the feather videography protocol (obviously referring to a sub-protocol given the lack of capitalization). Given that the aforementioned videography protocol has two sub-options (alpha and beta), I am basically going to use the more expensive digital option (F.I.ii.b) in which I will obtain higher-quality imagery. Basically, this protocol involves installing sixteen digital video cameras at the sight of feather discovery (the hot zone) in case the aforementioned woodpecker returns to retrieve its feather. It’s only a matter of time before I capture images of the Helmeted Woodpecker, confirming its existence, and thus completing my task of single-handedly saving this magnificent creature from the evil death-grip of civilization.