Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Podiatric Massagial Arts

Basically, as you may remember from yesterday’s post, I sent my technician Carl to a technical college to learn how to perform professional foot messages. I also had Mitzi, my project secretary/planner, look into recruiting a crew strictly for massage purposes. This post is to let all of my fans know the great news . . . Mitzi was able to purchase Carl’s entire family!


They are scheduled to board a cargo barge today and should be arriving at my field house within the next week. Mitzi has told me that the description on E-Baysian.com described the Wangs as basically well trained in the massaging arts. As was the case with Carl, their names are basically unpronounceable and I was forced to give them all one, collective name; the Wangs. The Wangs’ purpose will be to massage my feet during scheduled 20 minute breaks and at night while I watch the two greatest shows of all time; American Idol and Dancing With The Stars. Some of you may be wondering why I need Carl's entire family. Well basically, the basic truth is that I don't really need all of them, they were a package deal so I had no choice but to buy them as one. However, apparently, basically one of the Wangs cooked for a Chinese restaurant and, because I am such a fan of chicken legs, I intend to utilize their culinary talents to cook me some delicious chicken leg fried rice, chicken legs in garlic sauce, chicken legs and broccoli, General Wangs chicken legs, and Zima-basted chicken drumsticks.


I basically anticipate this being a scrumptious change to my typical dinner of baked 6-legged chicken that I am currently forced to make myself. I know what you all are thinking; What is to happen to Mateo, my former foot massager? Well, basically I have promoted him to massaging the feet of my giant rabbit, Magnum. You may also be thinking; Well wasn’t Rogelio in charge of caring for Magnum? No worries my concerned followers, I have Rogelio currently working out the issues associated with the radio-reception acquisition protocols I recently enacted.

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