Somebody ask a freaking question

So you know, I basically started a series where I wanted people to ask me questions and then I'd answer them. Except I'm not getting any. Questions, that is. Except from freaking Leroy Hornsnarkle the III or whatever his name is.

No really, use the comments box. Ask a question. I'll answer it. I'm smart. Obviously.

So then I'll tell you my smarts and you'll be smart.

Reader Question 2

Leroy Bartholomew Brackworth IV from Boca Raton, FL, writes:

"I, like you, stocked up on Zima prior to it being discontinued. However, I am on my last case and don't know what alcoholic beverage to switch to. Any suggestions?"

There is no replacement for Zima. To suggest a replacement is heresy. Nevertheless, I will answer your aforementioned question as you obviously basically obviously need something to drink.

I like a colorful drink, like pink or lavender. I like the ones with umbrellas especially. I like it served on a lace doily. I make Lola bleach the doilies every week.

Also I like beer. Especially the green and blue ones.

Somebody else ask a question. Somebody with a normaler name.

Reader Question 1

Leroy Bartholomew Brackworth IV from [didn't give his freaking town, list your town people] writes:

"I have been following your blog since its creation consider you a scientific god. I have thought for several months now that there is no greater honor I can bestow upon you than to get a tattoo in your honor. What do you think I should get?"

Well Leroy, you are correct that I am basically a scientific god. However, since the statue incident, I'm hesitant to recommend that anyone depict me in any way, it just can't live up to the real thing. Why don't you get yourself something cool? Now, as you may or may not know, a lot of people who get tattoos are trying to look tough and will suggest you get a skull or an anchor or a dragon or a dragon eating a skull and carrying an anchor. But I say get something that you like that represents you. That's what I did with my tattoo. People tried to get me to conform to societal standards of manliness and such, but when you're a stud like me, you do your own thing.

The internet must be broken...

What the.... it's been like 60 seconds and I still haven't received your questions. Get a move on people, I know there must be tens of thousands of you following my blog on a daily basis. Don't be shy, ask a question!

ASK The World's Greatest Biologist!

Loyal readers,

It's time for a new feature here at the COTWGB. You see, lately, my brain has been overflowing with good ideas and advice, because I basically know how to do everything. And I figured it was high time that I shared some of that abundance of smartness with you lesser peoples.

So, like that one guy who types with boxing gloves on his hands, I am now soliciting questions that I will answer on my blog. Email your question to worldsgreatestbiologist@gmail.com, or just type it in the comments box at the end of this post.

If your question is picked, you'll receive..uh..well, you'll receive my opinion. There's really no greater gift than that, is there?