Wang et al.

Well Mitzi, you failed me, as expected. I don't know how hard it is to log on to E-Baysian and order me a bunch of Asians, but something has gone wrong. First off, the cargo barge ran aground into a highway somewhere.



But since they were basically on land, they decided to call and confirm our order. I was expecting to just get the Wangs, but apparently four different familes of Asians are headed our way! Are you freaking kidding me? What am I going to do with them all? I hope they get along...


Basically anyways, I was initially basically surprised about this, but basically thinking about all of the important work that needs to be basically done saving the world, I decided this would basically be an excellent opportunity to obtain additional help in the field, basically. However, all of my field assistants must pass a rigorous interview with me. So I decided to interview the 4 families that were coming. This was difficult because they don't speak much English, I guess they must be stupid or something. Again, I basically couldn't understand their unpronounceable names, so I was again forced to give them collective names. In addition to the Wangs, we will shortly be expecting the arrival of the Khans, the Gorbachevs, and the Kawasakis. I wasn't really able to interview them thoroughly, but considering the circumstances, I'll give them a pass. The important thing is that they assured me that they had their own field vehicles. I am eagerly awaiting their arrival. Plus, I need a pedicure and some sweet-and-sour chicken drumsticks.

Can I only trust myself?

As you may recall from your previous readings, my “technician” Jorge broke his arm when he wrecked his bike taking my laundry to town. Since he basically didn’t get my laundry to town to have it professionally cleaned, I made him hand wash my garments with his good arm, so he basically redeemed himself. Just when you think you can trust someone, especially a lowly technician, they go and basically disappoint you again. As you may or may not know, Paraguay can be a very wet place and, when rainfall is above average, the resultant flooding can make my singlehanded saving of the HEWO that much more difficult. A few days ago while I was sipping on a cold bottle of Zima and getting a pedicure from one of my other technicians, Mateo, I “asked” Jorge to go out into the field and collect some data. Given the water conditions, Jorge basically wanted to know if he could use MY brand new canoe that I hadn’t used yet… Are you freaking kidding me?!? I haven’t even used it yet! How are you going to paddle with a broken arm anyway?!? Basically, what I did tell him he could take was one of the sets of arm floaties that I kindheartedly bought for each of my technicians. Well wouldn’t you know it, Jorge drowned in the river. You’ve disappointed me again Jorge, looks like I won’t serve as a reference for you after all.