Well, I basically found Carl. As you may or may not recall,
the aforementioned Carl was basically singlehandedly responsible for me
spending a year in prison. I’ve been working through my anger at Carl with the
help of a therapist, and he made me promise not to talk about Carl anymore such
that I may begin the healing process. Since
this aforementioned therapist basically disappeared and has not been seen for
the past four days, I have not been able to resist the temptation to mobilize my
technicians with a new protocol called “Operation Find Carl.” I have unveiled this new protocol without yet
coming up with a proper acronym, but I assure you that one of the technicians
has been assigned to the task of creating an acronym for the aforementioned protocol
such that I can communicate about the operation more effectively and concisely
without using too many unnecessary words.
I don’t like to brag, but being concise is basically one of my greatest
gifts. Anyhow, Carl is working as a costume model in Japan, undoubtedly because
of my refusal to give him a positive recommendation in his chosen field.
Dressing up like a squirrel Carl? Seriously? Those testes don't even look biologically accurate. Don't you have any dignity? Now that I know where he is, I can send a team to apprehend him as soon as I come up with an appropriately detailed protocol to accomplish this incredibly important task.
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