Basically, this is the last question I’ll answer about Yuri’s damned monkeys. Yes, Mateo and Rogelio hid another monkey, and no I didn’t find it for months. As you may or may not know, I don’t regularly visit the earthen huts where “the help” stay, but an anonymous report of an above-average flea infestation forced me to investigate. As I methodically worked through the hut inspection protocol, I found it hidden under an old Zima crate. This time, they had it dressed up like a woman. Are you freaking kidding me?!? Exploiting the fact that I won’t hit a woman or any creature dressed like a woman?!?
Then Rogelio uttered its name, Ursulita, and I launched into an uncontrollable rage. As I asphyxiated the creature and bludgeoned her to death with my pocket-sized abacus, I felt a strange sense of arousal and longing for companionship. It was with the death of this small primate that I also said goodbye to my months-long denial about Ursula’s ultimate betrayal. Basically, I realized it was time find a replacement such that my Earth-saving activities may again be facilitated by an unabashed admirer, hopefully one with a father capable of producing an appropriate dowry. Obviously, I ordered Mitzi to immediately form a search committee to enact the Honouring Earth by Replacing Personnel Inasmuch as Earth needs Saved protocol (HERPIES).
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