The Most Importantest Holiday

Basically, Happy Halloween! As you read this post, I’m on my way to visit Ursula in Slovenia. As you may or may not know, I believe that is very important to spend each and every holiday with my Sun-Goddess. Never is it more important than on this most important of important holidays. I know what you’re thinking, what I am going to be for Halloween? Because you basically want to be the same thing because of your intense admiration for me, trust me, I know what you’re thinking because I have had such a profound influence in shaping your mind. If you were to guess that I am going to be Sir Don Bradman like I have each of the past four years, you’re basically wrong. In honour of the World’s greatest musicians to basically ever musicate on the planet, Ursula and I are dressing up as our mutual favourite group: Milli Vanilli.

Ursula is the Fab to my Rob. We basically met at a Halloween party two years ago, as we were basically dancing independently on opposite sides of the dance floor. As you obviously recall from earlier in this post, I was dressed up as Sir Don Bradman (yes, THE Sir Don Bradman). I knew it was meant to be when we locked eyes across the dance floor and I noticed that she was dressed up as Rachael Heyhoe-Flint, obviously the greatest female cricket player of all time. The song that was playing was “Girl You Know It’s True” by, you guessed it, Milli Vanilli. As you may or may not know from your previous readings, our rock-solid relationship is built on a love of three things: saving the Earth, Zima, and Milli Vanilli. With the recent bad news about Zima, all we’ve got left is Earth and Milli Vanilli. So this Halloween, as we continue to wait patiently for another Milli Vanilli album to be released to the World, we will honour Rob and Fab’s contributions to the musicscape of our Earth and this year, when that special song comes on, I may just have a special question for Ursula.

Cricket

Basically, the only thing that may trump my love for the Earth, my life partner Ursula, and chicken drumsticks is my love of the most amazing sport on the planet, cricket. Beyond saving the planet, phone conversations with the love of my life, and my own personal hygiene needs, the largest proportion of my day is probably basically taken up by managing my fantasy cricket team. Yes, I do have a satellite television with the cricket ticket and I like nothing more than sitting down with an ice-cold Zima and watching an innings or two of my favourite sport. Yes, my bunny Magnum’s middle name is Wicket (Magnum Wicket Greatest-Biologist) and my first bunny’s name, may he rest in peace, was Sir Don Bradman. Yes, obviously after THE Sir Don Bradman the greatest batsman ever. I’m not bragging or anything, but my aforementioned fantasy cricket team is undoubtedly the greatest ever and has the greatest bowler and the most superior nightwatchman AND nightwatchbatperson in the world! How many century scoring players do you have on your team? How many of your players have been called out by a leg-before-wicket? I rest my case.