Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

MILWAUKEE (AP) - MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima.

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10.

Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

He says distributors can get remaining Zima inventories most likely through December.

Distributors are being asked to put products from caffeinated alcoholic beverage Sparks on retail store shelves to make up for Zima's absence. The brand came to the joint venture from Molson Coors, maker of Coors Light and Keystone.


This basically can't be happening!! What am I supposed to drink now? Declining consumer interest in malternatives? I bascially cannot believe that they would do something like this.

As you may or may not know, they employ fine small-batch craftsmanship at the presumably very small South African/Miller/Coors/Molson Brewery. The aforementioned brewery brews the Zima with such care, I can only assume their reason for terminating aforementioned beverage is due to the fact that some sort of earth-hating evildoers are out to destroy my personal earthsavingness by cutting off my personal Zima supply.

I will have to experiment with other beverages to slake my extreme thirst. Rogelio suggested I make a Clamato-chocolate-walnut-margarita-eggnog-milkshake. That one sounds intriguing. Mateo suggested a watermelon-bourbon-toothpaste-orange juice-potato puree-root beer float. Basically, that strikes me as somewhat less good.

This may cause me to sink into a deep depression; It feels just like when Crystal Pepsi left us.

Basically, I think my best plan of attack is to basically pawn my remaining electronic devices not needed to talk to Ursula (i.e., not the phone, laptop, camera phone, desktop, satellite phone, webcam, or videoconferencing studio) and attempt to stockpile as much Zima as is possible.



There is lots of room at work, I'm sure my colleagues won't mind if I stack some cases under their desks. I will put my name on it so they have no reason to take it. I may have to rent a truck for this, but my research funds should basically cover that. And of course, my technicians and colleagues will have to pick up the slack while I am gone on this errand, but basically, you have to have priorities.