The most historical thing EVER. (Aside from my own birth)

Basically, I just witnessed the most historical event ever in the history of history. Basically, the aforementioned event was the inauguration of the next earth-saving president, Barack Obama. Obama is awesome because he wants to save the earth. Even though others in my organization told me I should really be out saving the HEWOs, I would not miss this event for the world. And so I booked a first-class ticket to DC for the inauguration. Supporting Obama is supporting saving the earth, so that makes me a first-class earth-saving stud. I did not have a ticket, but some New Zealander holding a sign sold me a scalped ticket right in front of the Lincoln Memorial!! This sounded great, though I ended up being slightly farther back than I anticipated. This experience was even more sweet because I am sure to become famous on TV. I am not sure, but I bet that you can basically see me on TV, since you could see the Lincoln Memorial, and that’s about where I was standing. Except I was also on the back side of the Lincoln Memorial, but I fought my way to the other side so I could sort of see something. I think there were a few people in front of me, but my seats were basically the best you can get.






However, upon returning from aforementioned pilgrimage, I was saddened and shocked to find a massive violation of my personal rights. When I left, I adminished my coworkers not to sit in my research recliner. You see, I, of my own accord, had Mitzi and Juanita haul a shiny new research recliner up the stairs to my 7th floor office. Mitzi was grumbling because I wouldn’t let her use the elevator, but I needed to use the elevator to transport my Zima crate. Anyway, where was I, oh yeah, so I told the worthless unfit-to-be-in-my-presence officemates to keep their grubby paws off the research recliner. I made this perfectly clear by installing a sign on the recliner with a detailed protocol of how one should not sit in the Research Recliner. But I returned to find that SOMEONE HAD BEEN SITTING IN MY RESEARCH RECLINER!!!!! I know this because I had Mateo and Rogelio come in from the field to charge and change the deep-cycle batteries that powered the Covertly Hidden Apparatus that detects Inauthorizable Reclining (CHAIR) cameras. The cameras detected all sorts of inauthorizable activities, such as putting-on of other peoples butts, putting-on of decorative and mocking ornaments, and putting-on of rotting fruit pieces. I am disgusted. I can think of no other reason that someone would do a thing like this other than if they were against my saving the earth. I am going to have to stop giving my co-workers the benefit of reading my work, and carrying my equipment, and washing my car, because they clearly don’t appreciate me.