Shambles

Basically, as I have returned from my aforementioned trip to Slovenia, I have now had time to assess the damage done by my “technicians.” While it is true that the aforementioned hired help collected more data than when I was present and no one died, they had the nerve to change my protocols! How dare they question my supreme knowledge and superior intuition?!? So basically, we might not collect as much “data” when I’m around, but it is important that what we do collect is done using MY protocols. As an important scientist, I feel it is my duty to impart my wisdom on these lesser biologists and correct their “efficient” methods. Get this, when I basically attempted to help these minions, Rogelio dared to question why I would leave the country for five weeks during the middle of my field season!?! That‘s what Mateo and Rogelio are here for!

Basically, I don’t need to explain myself but I basically will just so you understand where I’m coming from. Because of the pressures and responsibility associated with single-handedly saving the Earth, I have to be apart from my Sun-goddess, Ursula, for often weeks at a time. Ursula, who as you know from your previous readings lives in Slovenia, is without a doubt my life partner and soul mate, my Sun-goddess, and the only person able to understand and relate to my brilliance. Although we share many things in common, I believe our indestructible bond is related to our mutual love of three things: saving the Earth, Zima, and late 80’s pop sensation Milli Vanilli. In fact, our yearly five-week hiatus always revolves around the annual European Milli Vanilli Tribute Festival that occurs in late May of each year. Is that during my field season? Yes. But we all need to have priorities.