iMAnAss

Whereas most normal scientists are hell-bent on destroying the environment by taking notes on paper, I’ve basically invested in a tablet computer such that I may eliminate my need for paper and further inspire you. Obviously, the fanciness of my possessions must be proportional to my importance of a scientist. As you may or may not know, many people with the aforementioned tablet computers settle for the iPad or even lesser types of tabputer©.  I basically refused to settle and have therefore purchased the much more expensive iMAnAss, which is only exclusively offered by one purveyor of luxury goods.

No, I don’t understand the name of it, but I do understand that it’s more expensive than an iPad and therefore must basically be vastly superior.  Someone has suggested that I’m an ass for purchasing the aforementioned tablet, hence the name, whereas others have suggested that in referring to man ass, it’s geared towards homosexuals. I can basically assure you that I’m neither of these things*, I’m the World’s Greatest freaking Biologist!  And no, I don’t know why there are donkeys on it, or why one donkey is trying to give the other the Heimlich maneuver, but it’s the best and that’s why I need it.  The aforementioned purchase will undoubtedly help me on my Earth-saving quest toward dissertation completion.

*prison doesn’t count