"The Hired Help"

Basically, as you may or may not know, I am in the process of saving the Helmeted Woodpecker from man's selfish deathgrip of extinction. Obviously, this is a lot for any one person to take on and, even though I'm basically doing everything by myself, I occassionally allow some lesser aspiring biologists to help me in my quest. My research is basically envied by biologists from around the world so, as you'd imagine, I get lots of interest from young people that long for the honour and privelege of helping me single-handedly save the HEWO. Basically, women want me and men want to be me, and probably some women want to be me and some men want me, but I'm not gay or anything, just extremely successful and respected by both sexes and even some hermaphrodites. My process for hiring apprentices is a fairly detailed and rigorous process but, for the select few that are lucky enough, they do get to work with me for months at a time. Obviously, you can imagine my disappointment when those that I have chosen to serve me ultimately let me down. Recently, I sent one of these servants, Jorge, to ride his bicycle to town to have my laundry professionally cleaned. You can imagine my shock when Jorge wrecked his bicycle, broke his arm, and didn't even get my laundry cleaned! Are you freaking kidding me?!? Basically, if you want the job done well, you better just have me do it because these lower life forms known as "technicians" just aren't worth the trouble.